Thursday, February 11, 2010

It’s a Thursday in Holland

There is absolutely nothing exciting going on around here. We were hit with a couple snow “storms” (not at all compared to what the east coast is currently dealing with) so Gavin and I have spent some time outside playing in the new snow…aka me pulling him around in a sled…but otherwise we have been laying low.

Since I don’t have a lot to share personally, I thought I’d share a blog a friend led me to yesterday….

Start with this entry (click here)

If you want to read more than just that entry of her blog click here

She is an amazing photographer and is about to head down a road that many of us never thought we’d travel.

Reminds me of a poem given to me not long after Gavin’s own diagnosis…

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


  1. I love that poem. It is so very true.

  2. I loved that blog entry and I love that poem, I remember reading that right after Cayden's diagnosis... i think I will go post the poem on my blog right now!